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The Husbands Greatest Responsibility in Marriage

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

God gives certain responsibilities of the marriage to each other.  For the husband, God commands that we love our wives.  Love is the principle thing that holds a marriage together.  Love is the greatest motivator of all.  Unfortunately, the world teaches a false definition of the word love.  People today think that love is a feeling, especially related to sexual contact, but it is not.  Love is the supreme denial of self and exaltation of someone else.  In short, it is giving.  This is the love that God is talking about when he commands husbands to love their wives.

As a human being it is natural for our love to be directed to others.  As a father our love can be directed to our children.  But, as a husband there is a special kind of love that is to be directed only to our wife.  The world would like to say that there are degrees of love, but there are just different aspects of love.  There is a special kind of love that only our wife should enjoy and no others.  It is our obligation to make this exclusive to her.  This love, we share with none other.  We don’t share it with our children, our family and certainly some other woman.  It is a special love and it should be proclaimed so that everyone else knows that we love our wives differently than anyone else in the world.  If you have waited for God to show you His perfect will, then she is your special gift from Him that completes you as one whole being (Eph. 5:31 …and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.).  That makes her special beyond the reaches of all others in the world.

Husbands should follow the example of Christ when loving our wives.  Our Lord loves the church and He shows it by the way He provides for it, protects it and leads it.  Likewise, it is our jobs to take the leadership roles in our marriages so that our wives have the protection, provision and prowess needed to feel loved.

Protection of our wives does not end with simply not letting someone hurt her physically.  There is emotional and spiritual protection that must be provided for as well.  Husbands should be vigilant to not allow our wives to be emotionally hurt.  Emotions run deep and are difficult to heal.  If we do something that we shouldn’t and end up hurting our wives emotionally, the Bible has the only prescription for the healing process in being quick to reconcile (Eph. 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:).  Protection of our wives can best be done by keeping the Devil away from our marriages.  It is not that Eve wandered away from Adam when she was tempted, but the question must be asked, “Why was Adam not there in the first place?  Why was he not protecting her spiritually?”

Providing for our wives, does not end with bringing in the paycheck.  Although we like to make jokes about it, wives have many more needs than money.  They have other physical needs as well as emotional and spiritual needs.   Our wives need to be encouraged.  They need to be praised and made to feel good about themselves so they have confidence to make it through yet another evil day.  It is our job as husbands to provide this praise and not just be running them down all the time.  We need to provide spiritually for our wives by providing the right environment, both at home and outside of the home.  This is not just “letting” them go to church; it is BRINGING them to church.  Let them know you lead in the spiritual protection of your marriage.  Read the Bible with them.  Initiate spiritual conversation with them.

The prowess that our wives deserve does nothing other than to help us and the entire family.  She should be able to “be all she can be.”  In fact she should be encouraged to do so.  Let’s be our wives best cheer leader.  Help her; let her take the classes she has been wanting.  Encourage her.  Provide leadership and instruction for her when dealing with emotional issues specific to women.  Don’t try to isolate her.  Encourage her to develop spiritually on her own as well as with you.

Give of yourself for your wife.  This is the action of love.  The Lord Jesus Christ gave of Himself to the Church.  We don’t learn all of the ramifications of this immediately. It takes some time.  Likewise, let your wife have the adventure of exploring how much you love her by examining how much you give of yourself to her.  As Christians, when we see the love of Christ, and how it is demonstrated to us, it does not take long for him to become our hero.  We can be our wives’ hero as well.  It won’t happen overnight.  And it won’t happen because we demand it.  We become her hero by consistently showing how much we give of ourselves to her.

Husbands, lets take care of our responsibilities of loving our wives.  Let’s build them up, for they are our same body.  Lets make our marriages better by taking the leadership role and not expecting anything in return.

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