14 “Dont’s” in Raising Children


So many today have been successful at raising brats. Here’s some of the finest advice you’ll ever receive on how to keep from doing so:

1. Don’t pick them up every time they cry.  If you run to his aid as soon as he cries, he’ll soon know how to control you, rather than you being in control. You don’t want them to expect to be pampered all of their lives.

2. Don’t let them defiantly tell you “NO!” It’s not cute. It’s rebellion verbalized.  Although, he should be allowed to have a mind of his own.

3. Give them responsibilities.  Don’t do everything for them.  They will grow up thinking this world owes them a living, joining the crowd of grown up babies shouting, “I’ve got my rights,” rather than those who are men and women enough to fulfill their responsibilities.

4. Don’t neglect discipline. Don’t wait until there in trouble and let the penal system discipline them. Don’t go to Dr. Spock (who never raised a child in his life) and the other child psychologists for help and advice.  Why not go to the old timers who raised 5 or 10 children successfully!  Remember that a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame (Pro 29:15). You can truly develop a true brat if you won’t properly discipline them.

5. Don’t always take the child’s side. Understand that your child can do wrong. If they are wrong, they need to learn to accept responsibility for their actions.

6. Don’t criticize the Preacher or leaders.  If you tear down authority in front of your child, they’ll live in insecurity not knowing who to trust. They will be totally prepared for a life of rebellion.

7. Don’t forget to tell them: “I LOVE YOU” They need to hear you say it even if you’ve given them everything they’ve ever wanted.

8. Don’t give them everything they want.  There is no need to buy something for them every time you go into a store. You can say “no” to them. You don’t want them to grow up being used to having every appetite of theirs fulfilled immediately.

9. Don’t neglect to teach them the Bible.  It makes no sense to them to have to go to school for 5 days a week, but not take them to church for 1 hour on Sunday.

10. Don’t always trust your child.  He’s not a little angel. He does do things behind your back.  Did you ever ask a young person whom you catch smoking, “Do you smoke at home?” Usually the answer is, “You’ve got to be kidding my parents would kill me.” Your child has the same fears.

11. Don’t scream at your children. This is not the only type of communication that reaches them.  Time spent answering their questions and instructing them is not wasted time. Although it may not seem like it, they are listening.  Constantly screaming at them will alienate them and the relationship will be devalued.  This doesn’t mean that you can never talk loudly to them.  There is a time and a place for everything.

12. Don’t let your child come and go as he pleases. It is  good to set boundaries.  Boundaries can be looked at as types of restriction, but if you look at them another way, they are types of security.  Children need security and they are found in guidelines.

13. Don’t make your child the most popular in the crowd. They don’t always need to be “up” with their peers.  They can be an oddball at times.  If they follow the crowd, then the crowd will become the greatest influence in their lives.

14. Don’t let them constantly watch T.V.   It is not good to keep them from reality. They don’t need to live in a fantasy world.  They need to learn to entertain themselves.  This exercises the brain and teaches creativity.

Children are not born brats.  They gravitate that way because of their training and environment.  Because we take the easy road in raising our children, they suffer.  Putting these principles in place, along with love and fellowship, your child can grow to be a healthy member of society for the Lord Jesus Christ.

Pastor Coale


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