“But Paul thought not good to take him with them, who departed from them from Pamphylia, and went not with them to the work. And the contention was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other: and so Barnabas took Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus;” Acts 15:38-39
There are many instances in the Bible where people could not be at peace with each other. Lot could not get along with Abraham. His brothers could not agree with Joseph. The people could not get along with Moses. Saul could not get along with David. The church at Corinth was filled with contention and discord.
The Christian life involves working with people. The more you know how to get along with people, the further your influence will go. God puts us with a family up to 18 years before we leave. That is longer than any animal stays with its parents! Then comes college dormitory life—more people. Then comes marriage—a person for life. Children—more people. Then comes a career—more people. During all this is church involvement—more people. People who do not know how to get along with others have problems all of their lives.
How do Christians become at peace with each other? What is it that we are to do to accomplish this monumental task? Here are some basic things that we can do to live a peaceful life:
- Remove Pride From Your Life. Proverbs 13:10 says, “Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.” When someone is proud and backslidden they argue and have a hard time getting along with anyone.
- Read Your Bible Daily. The Bible says, “Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word” (Psa. 119:9). If you read God’s word daily, you will eventually fall in love with it and it will provide peace in you life (Psa. 119:165). The Word of God gives you the mind of Christ (Phil 2:5). If you are thinking like Jesus, you will treat people the way He would.
- Involve yourself in prayer for others. It is amazing how well we can get along with someone when we pray for them. The Bible tells us: “Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also” (Matt. 6:21; Luke 12:34). So, if we put the treasure of our time into praying for someone, then our heart will follow.
- Be filled with the Holy Spirit. We are told in the Bible to be “filled with the Spirit;” (Eph 5:18). If we let the Holy Spirit have control of our life, then we will love others and be at peace with them.
- Learn to listen. People like to talk! It is the easiest and most common way for us to communicate to others. It is how we inter-relate. Talking is at the center of every social activity. Who could imagine a birthday party where no one spoke a word or made a sound? God equipped us with this little tool so we could express our heart-felt feelings as well as our intellectual discoveries. Therefore, when we speak we are revealing our very soul (Matt. 15:18). We must be very cautious when we speak because we can actually destroy relationships by what we say (Pro 13:3). Much trouble can result in opening our mouth and unbridling our tongue (Jas. 1:26; 3:8). Words can actually inflict: “soul damage.” Talking about other people is not bad at all, but to do it in a destructive manner is not good. This is called: gossip. Gossip is sharing information with someone who is neither part of the problem nor the solution. It is much better to listen than it is to speak
- Don’t be a fool. Proverbs 29:11 says, “A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.” A fool is someone who is not serious about practicing God’s principles. They cannot take reproof (Pro. 9:8). It is foolish to speak everything on your mind. There are some things which you should keep to yourself.
- Don’t give your opinion unless asked. Unsought advice is seldom followed and usually resented.
- Do Not Wear Out Your Welcome. Proverbs 25:17 says, “Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour’s house; lest he be weary of thee, and so hate thee.” Familiarity does breed contempt. So, it is wise not to spend too much time with any one person or family.
- Guard Your First Words. Be careful how you begin conversations (Pro. 15:28). The first words we speak usually set the tone, pace or direction of the conversation. Many are the times when we say, “You didn’t let me finish what I was saying.”
- Do begin any conversation negatively. People will turn you off and although their ears many be hearing what you say, their brain will not be listening. Make the conversation upbeat and interesting and people will want you to: “go on.”
- Treat People As You Would Jesus. Matthew 25:40, “And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”
- Give People Breathing Room. Do not insist everyone believe as you do on every subject.
- Do Not Joke with People You Do Not Know very Well.
- Do Not Take The Dog By The Ears. Proverbs 26:17 says, “He that passeth by, and meddleth with strife belonging not to him, is like one that taketh a dog by the ears.” Do not get involved in disputes that do not concern you.
- Do Not Insist On Your Way All The Time. Romans 12:10 says, “Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;”
- Do Not Give Your Opinion If The Person In Authority Has Given Their Advice In The Matter
- Never Argue
- Choose Your Friends Slowly And Wisely.
- Get with a group of people who already are what you want to be. Spend the majority of your time with those who are stronger than you. This will challenge you and grow you in the Lord.
- Treat Friends with Dignity.
- Do not just drop in.
Let us strive to have peace with each other.