Category Archives: Family

The wonderful quality of mothers

God gave mother a wonderful quality.  In the Morning Glory, January 8, 1994, Ilion Jones writes that, “On the great biographer Ida M. Tarbell’s 80th birthday, someone asked her to name the greatest persons she had ever met. She responded, ‘The greatest persons I have ever met are those nobody knows anything about.'”  She was referring to her mother.

“Once the New York Times was asked to help a group of club women decide on the twelve greatest women in the United States. After due consideration, the editors replied, ‘The twelve greatest women in the United States are women who have never been heard of outside of their own homes.'”  They were talking about someones mother.

Jones concludes, “I ask you, who was greater, Thomas A. Edison or his mother? When he was a young lad his teacher sent him home with a note which said, ‘Your child is dumb. We can’t do anything for him.’ His mother wrote back, ‘You do not understand my boy. I will teach him myself’. And she did, with results that are well known.”

Usually, the greatest people who have had the most influence in our lives are people that other people would not care about one bit.  Chief of these people is our mother.  Our mother will pour her life into us so that we can stand firm in this cruel world.  Our mother loves us like no one else can; who, no matter what we have done, continues to love us.

There is no use denying the fact that we are literally connected to our mother long before we have any other attachment with any other human being.  Our mother carries us 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for 9 months in her warm and comfortable tummy.  This “bond of bonds” cannot be cut, broken or torn asunder by any hurt we may give them.  Our mother is so important to us that we have wisely set aside a national day to honor her (Eph. 6:2; Exo. 20:12).

Our mother can never be replaced.  There are instances where children have to be raised by their fathers or someone else, but if they have been born into this world, they have a mother.  God arranged it that we cannot enter this life without first knowing and experiencing the love of our mother.  No matter if a child has been raised in a motherless home or not, there is still the beginning influence of this wonderful woman who carried them and bore them into this world (Gal 1:15).  But this is not the cased for the vast majority of cases.  Most of us are born and then raised too, by our mother.

Mother is the most influential person in our lives.  In most cases, she is with us more than anyone else, especially in our younger years.  Mother is our companion, as well as our protector and teacher.  At times it may seem that mom is not present, but God gave mom’s an amazing ability to use all of her senses toward us.  Every mother has had an experience where she has detected something wrong, when no other has been able to.  They dropped what they were doing and ran to our side knowing that we have just began choking on something.  In fact, their senses are so good that they can even detect when we are about to do something dangerous even BEFORE we are engaged in that certain dangerous activity.

When my mother would instruct me about “laying down the law”, she always had the uncanny ability to read my face.  She would tell me, “And wipe that look off of your face young man.  I can read your face like a book.”  Only someone who loved you very much; could be so “in tune” to you that they could “read your face like a book.”

Have you ever wondered why children have to play “under mothers feet” all the time?  It is because they feel safe there.  If they are near their mother, then they know that they are being watched over. It may be difficult for the mother as she moves around the house doing her daily chores, but it is great for the children.  When push comes to shove, I’ll bet you’ll find out that most mothers would rather know where their children are anyway.

Mothers can provide comfort unlike anything else in the world.  If I was outside playing with one of my children and they accidentally got hurt, they would look at me with contempt and go running to their MOTHER!  Dad just could not provide the same comfort as their mother could.  All it takes is some hugs from their mother, and a “kiss on the boo boo,” and everything would be all right.

Mother is crucial to our development, but moms are often overlooked or taken advantage of.  When Jesus was dying on the cross, He told John to take care of His mother (John 19:26-27).  Not that Mary was unable to take care of herself, but after Jesus died, there would be a big hole in her heart where her son used to be; a piece of her would be dying too because, after all, He literally was a piece of her.

We should appreciate all that our mothers do for us.  We should show them honor.  It is sad that at times we need to be reminded to pick up the phone and call our mother and tell her we love her.  I call my mother every week because I want her to know I care about her.~  Pastor Coale

 

 

Why younger people don’t need God

Does your young person feel like they don’t need God?  I didn’t say church.  I said, “GOD!”  If you need God, then you know that you need church and you attend every chance you get.  

Recently I have been asked why young people don’t go to church.  Because churches seem to be filled with older people, the question is, “why are there not more younger people in church, and how do we reach this demographic?”

I have contemplated this question for a long time.  Because I have been posed this question, I have begun thinking of it all over again. However, I don’t think that this question should be posed to this one group.  It seems to me that all groups are affected, and there has been a broad moving away from church attendance.

I know that the mind, being quick to solve problems, will run the gamut of possible answers.  We could site: The last days, The influence of the Devil and the world, the media, Exaltation of fantasy, The impact of socialistic programs, removal of the Bible from schools, etc. etc.  All of these certainly contribute to the problem.  But if you take a closer look back through history, most of these influences have been present for a very long time.  The first century Christians lived in a time when similar things like these were present and they even had to deal with persecution unto death as well.  Can you imagine where American Christianity would be today if present day Christians were killed for their faith?  I dare say that the church would shrink to just a remnant.  Very few American Christians today would be willing to actually die for their faith.  Oh, I know that they might SAY they were willing to die for Jesus, but if it came right down to it, I don’t believe that many would actually do so.  Why?  Because the church today has been diluted with weak anemic Christians who are mostly apathetic regarding church because they don’t need God.  They want to be entertained for their “buck;” or even worse, they want to be entertained for free.  Any pastor that cannot meet this criteria can just be discarded because they can just move on to another church that can entertain.  Christians today are looking for a program instead of God.

I think that the root reason that people in the USA today do not need the church is because they don’t need GOD.  They see no need for God in their life.  They cannot see any benefit for them by coming to God.  If they ever get to the place where they finally do see what God can do for them, only then are they willing to approach Him.  Otherwise, they keep Him at arms distance.  I say this because time and time again, when people are in trouble; when things are not going well in their life, they suddenly need God.  Then they come to church.  Then they want the preacher to give them the magic pill that will make all of their problems go away.  If you have been a Christian for any length of time, you know what I am talking about.  Even those whom we would call “faithful saints” act the same way: They do not see any value to them by coming to, or supporting their church.  They don’t need God, so they don’t need church.  But when they need God, Oh, they are so drawn to church.  Think about it.

So, I believe that the better question to be answered is: “How do we show people the value of having God in their life?”  If people saw that it was valuable to them to have God in their life, then they would be in church, because God values church.  Today, people value other things.  It is not difficult to find something to value because the world has a never ending list of entertainment for people to value.  All of it fun and valuable.  Not many of the young culture value hard work, because they see no importance for it and have too many other distractions, each competing for a little piece of their minds.  But when they suddenly need money to live, then they see the value of hard work and sweat.  So the answer to the question should be associated with what people value and how to show the importance of it (easier said than done).

I believe the answer to this undaunting question lies in the area of relationship.  Everybody recognizes the value of a relationship in some form or another.  Once children see that they have to navigate this world on their own, the see the value of the relationship between the parents and themselves; they see how valuable it was for mom and dad to take care of everything for them.  When there is a loss of a loved one, you immediately see the value of that relationship that you once had.  So, if a person could be introduced to the value of a relationship with God (Gen. 2:18), then they would be interested in God, and therefore, church.  But relationships too, have come under attack.

In the world today, there is a big attack upon relationships.  Everybody can DIY (Do It Yourself).  More and more, people are being deceived into thinking that they don’t need anybody.  There are mom’s taking “momcations,” dads working long hours, and all of the overtime they can get, parents cut out of children’s lives and grandchildren growing up without really knowing their grandparents.  Self-serve, Self-check out, Drive thru, ATM’s, mail order, Texting, cell phones, email, Home shopping network and Social Media (i.e. facebook), all contribute to the relationship problem.  They are all attempts by the Devil to eradicate basic and necessary relationships from our life.  Today we:

  • Have, “friends” whom we have never even met face to face.  These are our cyber friends who only tell us what they want us to know about them.  We know this to be true because we only tell them the things we want them to know about ourselves.  We’re not going to paint a bad picture about ourselves.  We steer away from reality.
  • Say things that we do not mean.  People are much more bold from behind a computer or cell phone keyboard.  We punch in, and send before we really think about it.  We say things that we would not normally say to someone’s face.
  • Do things that we would not normally do.  We take photos of ourselves and only send off the good ones.  At times, there are people who send inappropriate photos of themselves (or others) when they would never have done that in person.

All of these things would not be done if we valued the relationship with that person.

The fundamental relationship that exists on earth is that of the family.  Everybody knows that the attack on the family has been going on for a long time.  It is only successful because it has been relentless.  The result is that not many young people of today see any value in their family relationships.  I believe the way we fight back on this is to: “meet fire with fire.”  Because the attack on the family is relentless, our tactic on preserving the family should be equally relentless.  We do not need to take the role of “closet dwellers” yet.  We are still free to voice our opinions.

The way that this untoward situation has “crept” up on us is because “grass roots” Christians have kept their faith in God under the rug.  When the world demeans Christianity, we too should speak up and say something.  When they promote “homosexuality”, we too should promote family.  The open forum does not belong to them.  When Christians do not speak, and act upon their faith openly, they give the platform to the enemy for the destruction of relationships, and show the younger generation the value we place on it.  They are watching and looking for something real.  If “grass roots” Christians, throughout their daily lives, do not speak up and “live” their relationship with Christ, they ultimately show that they don’t value it very much.  If all they do is speak of Christ in their house or at church or amongst other known believers, they show that they don’t need God very much.

Herein is the answer to the question.  Christians must not be ashamed of Jesus outside of the secure walls of any known Christian environment.  In other words–practice what you believe in; when you value it, others will learn how to value it as well. If you don’t need God, then the younger generation will not need God as well.  If you show a life that is walking with a need for God, then they will need God too!  ~Pastor Coale

Parenting God’s Way

SPANKING IS A PART OF PARENTING

parentingResearchers say there is never a good reason for spanking your child. This is because social scientists decided many years ago to stamp out the evil of spanking.  Unfortunately, their zealousness to remove God from society and the family will continue until spanking is outlawed or until it completely goes out of style.  For them, truth does not matter when you have an agenda.

Man has been convinced of things that simply are not true.  He has serious misconceptions about spanking children for disobedience.  Unfortunately, most Christian parents today do not get their understanding of discipline from the Bible.  They get it from the world.  Here, we will show the scriptures that correct these parenting misconceptions.

Nothing God says in His Word and nothing said in this article makes allowance for true child abuse.  Jesus was a protector of little children and we should be as well.  Anyone who truly abuses a child deserves everything the law can throw at them.  To permanently injure a child for any reason is a wicked act and it deserves swift and exact punishment.

Spanking can be misused in many ways.  Love must still be the primary factor in parenting any child.  Spanking can be too harsh, too inconsistent, too late, too hasty and too much.  The fact that you spank your children does not make you a godly or righteous parent.  You must use God’s wisdom and always deal with the child for his own good. There will be no lawsuits where the pastor or GBC will be used as an excuse for abusing or mistreating your children.

The only absolute authority for how to raise children is to be found in God’s word—the Bible. Preachers and teachers may make mistakes and teach things incorrectly. They are not the final authority.  However, God’s word is always true.  Raise your children according to the Bible and God will honor His word.

What are the misconceptions people have about spanking.  You may be surprised to see them, one by one, dealt with in the book of Proverbs.   We must all be ready to obey the Lord in these matters of parenting.

Spanking is an Act of Hatred:

There are parents who would not spank their children until they were so mad that they felt like spanking them.  This is wrong and dangerous.  You do not spank your children because you are mad at them.  Spanking is not an act of hatred.  God says that it is an act of love.

Proverbs 3:11 – “My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction: For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.”

Notice that God corrects (spanks) those He loves.  His chastening hand is proof that He loves us.  If he hated us, He would let us go our own way and head for destruction.

In fact, the Bible teaches that you show hatred toward your children by not correcting them.  Proverbs 13:24 – “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.”  To withhold the rod of correction is to demonstrate hatred for your child.  In a sense, if you do not correct your children, you are saying, “Go on; head for ruin and destruction; I don’t care.”

Of course you really love your children.  That is why you must show it by correcting them when they disobey.  Correct them by spanking them. Show them how much you love them.

In love, there will probably be times when you actually cry with your children before you spank them. This is where it is said, “this will hurt me more than it will hurt you.” Then you explain that statement by telling them that you must punish them because you love them too much to let them go the way they were going.

When you spank your children for the right reasons, it is an act of love.  Do you see it as an act of love?  Do you express your love in your time of correction?

Some Motivation for not having sex before marriage

Some motivations for not having sex before marriage are wrong. They can be just as wrong as having sex before marriage. One such wrong motivation is fear: fear of being found out, fear of pregnancy, fear of a disease, fear of the opinions of others.

One proper motivation for doing God’s will is love of our neighbor. The neighbor we are to love as ourselves can be our neighbor’s daughter. Also, your neighbor can be one who will be your wife. And your neighbor is your parents or your future wife’s parents, both of whom would be hurt terribly when your sin is discovered.

But the main motivation is the love of God. Love God for the salvation He has so freely given. Love God for all things, including the sexual desires He has given. Submit your sexuality, along with everything else you are and have, to Him. Let your love for Him drive you to strive to please Him in all of your conduct, including your conduct on a date.

The Effects of Premarital Sex

It is helpful to consider what happens when we disobey God. If we misuse His good gift of sexuality, what are the consequences? “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap” (Gal. 6:7).

The girl who violates God’s commands concerning sex feels used and cheated. She realizes, too late, that she has “lost” a most precious possession: her virginity. “Lost,” however, is not really the right word, because she gave it away cheaply. Virginity is a gift God gave her. It is not really hers, but God’s, and she is but the steward of it. She is responsible to God for its care. She can give her virginity away only once. She can never get it back. She will never be able to give this precious gift to her God-given husband at the proper time.

Today’s society says very little about the pricelessness of virginity. To the contrary, television, movies, and romance novels make virginity cheap. They sacrifice it on the altar of “fun.” While I am convinced that most girls do prize it, they face many and great temptations to give it away. Some do not want to be considered “odd.” Others want the feeling now. Many think they can use sex to get love. Many give in to their boyfriend’s pleas because they do not want to lose his “love.” In every case, however, it is selfishness that has made them violate God’s will. And the consequences are irreversible.

The young man also “loses” something when he goes too far before marriage. He also gives away a priceless gift, and he does so cheaply. The loss of innocence, through sexual impurity, is as real for the boy as it is for the girl. He may deceive himself into believing that the gratification of the moment will make that loss worthwhile. But he too will find, to his great grief, that it does not. For God will not be mocked.

All sexual activity before marriage is entering into a holy of holies in a degrading, base, and profane manner, violating the will of God. And the only reason for rushing so boldly into this holy and beautiful mystery is the selfishness of pride.

Some claim the “right” to premarital sex because they are engaged to be married. They believe that their expressions of commitment to each other make it right for them to violate God’s will. But consider the reasons for wanting to go contrary to God’s command! Every one of them is wrong: self-gratification, the desire to be loved, the fear of what the partner will think. Can such motives and such action be defended before an open Bible? It is God’s will that sex be only in marriage. And it is only God who unites two in marriage, using the church and the state to be His means to unite them. A couple is not married merely on the basis of their commitment to each other.

The command of our God is of course sufficient reason to refrain from premarital sex. There is however this added consideration, that not always do an engaged couple end up marrying each other. Should they break off their engagement, after engaging in sexual intercourse, they can be sure that, when they do marry, the pleasure of the marriage bed will not be unaffected by the memory of what went before. Sin may deceive us into thinking we can get away with it, but God is not mocked.

Premarital sex always causes scars! Sin leaves scars. And the scars will have an effect on you years later. In the passion of the moment, you do not think about the implications and consequences which reach far beyond that moment. You do not want to think about the consequences. But this sin makes a searing cut, which always leaves a scar. You cannot violate the command of God concerning something so wonderful, and not be hurt by it. Sexual relationships many years later, with the husband and with the wife you love so dearly, are going to be affected by the illicit and immoral sexual activity which took place before you were married. I might add that many have been the counseling sessions with those whose improper sexual activity before marriage was with the one they did later marry. They judge each other, they blame each other, or they are plagued in conscience. When will we realize that God will not be mocked? We will reap what we sow! Sin leaves scars.

There can be healing from the wound which sin causes, but there will always be a scar. This scar will be removed only when we receive our resurrection bodies. Please consider the scars you will cause, for yourself and for the one you love, before you rush into intimacy before God permits it.

Do Whatever You Want!

How we admire the obedience a dog shows to its master! Archibald Rutledge wrote that one day he met a man whose dog had just been killed in a forest fire. Heartbroken, the man explained to Rutledge how it happened. Because he worked out-of-doors, he often took his dog with him. That morning, he left the animal in a clearing and gave him a command to stay and watch his lunch bucket while he went into the forest. His faithful friend understood, for that’s exactly what he did. Then a fire started in the woods, and soon the blaze spread to the spot where the dog had been left. But he didn’t move. He stayed right where he was, in perfect obedience to his master’s word. With tearful eyes, the dog’s owner said, “I always had to be careful what I told him to do, because I knew he would do it.”

Every conscientious parent recognizes how difficult it is to exercise his God-given authority over his children. The delicate balance of being tough yet tender is not easy to maintain. Many parents intensify a rebellious spirit by being dictatorial and harsh. Others yield when their authority is tested. When a strong-willed child resists, the pressure to give in for the sake of peace and harmony can become overpowering.

I am reminded of the mother who wanted to have the last word but couldn’t handle the hassle that resulted whenever she said no to her young son. After an especially trying day, she finally flung up her hands and shouted, “All right, Billy, do whatever you want! Now let me see you disobey THAT!”

 Where our Captain bids us go,

‘Tis not ours to murmur no;

He that gives the sword and shield

Chooses too the battlefield

Where we are to fight the foe.

 One step forward in obedience is worth years of study about it.

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The Husbands Greatest Responsibility in Marriage

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; God gives certain responsibilities of the marriage to each other.  For the husband, God commands that we love our wives.  Love is … Continue reading

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14 “Dont’s” in Raising Children

  So many today have been successful at raising brats. Here’s some of the finest advice you’ll ever receive on how to keep from doing so: 1. Don’t pick them up every time they cry.  If you run to his … Continue reading